Scrambled Omelette

The Perfect Breakfast ….. if you happen to like a proper breakfast….. 

1        Onion

1        Tomato

4        Fresh Eggs

Cheese (Friends of mine have since tried Mascarpone, yogurt, Ricotta…..)

Fresh Herbs – I particularly like Mint and Thyme, but you could consider Parsley, etc..

Olive Oil

COOKING INSTRUCTIONS:

Chop onion and tomato into small chunks.

Heat Olive Oil in large base frying pan.

Add Onion and cook (this on a relatively high fire - I use 8 on electric) – normally about 3 minutes

Add Tomatoes and leave to cook - for about 3 to 4 minutes (on a lower heat - I use 6 on electric)

While this is being cooked, beat the eggs and grate cheese. Add herbs at this stage also.

Add cheese to egges and  into the frying pan to the onions and tomato mix. Lightly stir in cover with lid – cook on low fire - I use 6 on electric but could be lower if you have time and if you prefer your omelettes humid (like only the Spanish seem to be able to do…..).

You should aim for a humid looking finish. Don’t let the eggs cook dry. Cook for about 4 to 5 minutes.

I don’t add salt, as you can always add this after to taste. If you use a chedder type cheese, you probably will not need salt at all.

Serve with fresh bread……better with a good brown bread.

Best with fresh coffee…..

Best on Saturday & Sunday, when you have time to cook and enjoy it.

The Official Guyanese Christmas Song

I PICKED THIS UP HERE….I ACTUALLY GOOGLE SEARCHED CARAHEE (WHICH I WAS TRYING TO GIVE NON WEST INDIANS SOME IDEA ABOUT FOR MEH CURRY RECIPE) IT DOES HELP IF YOU UNDERSTAND SOMETHING ABOUT GUYANESE….:

On da first day of Christmas, meh true love gave to me Chicken curry
in a Carahee

On da second day of Christmas meh true love gave to me 2 green mango
and Chicken curry in a Carahee

On da third day of Christmas meh true love gave to me 3 cream sodas,
2 green mango and Chicken curry in a Carahee

On da fourth day of Christmas meh true love gave to me 4 paira, 3
cream sodas, 2 green mango and Chicken curry in a Carahee

On da fifth day of Christmas meh true love gave to me 5
ssshhoootttttt oooffff bbbaaacccaaarrrrddddiiii, 4 paira, 3 cream sodas, 2 green mango and Chicken curry in a Carahee

On da sixth day of Christmas meh true love gave to me 6 crappo
jumping, 5 ssshhoootttttt oooffff bbbaaacccaaarrrrddddiiii, 4 paira, 3 cream sodas, 2 green mango and Chicken curry in a Carahee

On da seventh day of Christmas meh true love gave to me 7 hassa
swimming, 6 crappo jumping, 5 ssshhoootttttt oooffff bbbaaacccaaarrrrddddiiii, 4 paira, 3 cream sodas, 2 green mango and Chicken curry in a Carahee

On da eighth day of Christmas meh true love gave to me 8 pandit
prayin, 7 hassa swimming, 6 crappo jumping, 5 ssshhoootttttt oooffff bbbaaacccaaarrrrddddiiii, 4 paira, 3 cream sodas, 2 green mango and Chicken curry in a Carahee

On da ninth day of Christmas meh true love gave to me 9 nani wining,
8 pandit prayin, 7 hassa swimming, 6 crappo jumping, 5 >>ssshhoootttttt oooffff bbbaaacccaaarrrrddddiiii, 4 paira, 3 cream sodas, 2 green mango and Chicken curry in a Carahee

On da tenth day of Christmas meh true love gave to me 10 bara with
chutney, 9 nani wining, 8 pandit prayin, 7 hassa swimming, 6 crappo jumping, 5 ssshhoootttttt oooffff bbbaaacccaaarrrrddddiiii, 4 paira, 3 cream sodas, 2 green mango and Chicken curry in a Carahee

On da eleventh day of Christmas meh true love gave to me 11 burn
cds, 10 bara with chutney, 9 nani wining, 8 pandit prayin, 7 hassa swimming, 6 crappo jumping, 5 ssshhoootttttt oooffff bbbaaacccaaarrrrddddiiii, 4 paira, 3 cream sodas, 2 green mango and Chicken curry in a Carahee

On da twelfth day of Christmas meh true love gave to me 12 tassa
drummin, 11 burn cds, 10 bara with chutney, 9 nani wining, 8 pandit prayin, 7 hassa swimming, 6 crappo jumping, 5 ssshhoootttttt oooffff bbbaaacccaaarrrrddddiiii, 4 paira, 3 cream sodas, 2 green mango and Chicken curry in a Carahee

Sergeon Speak

Five surgeons in a conference bar are discussing who
 makes the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon says, “I like to 
see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”
The second responds, “Yeah, but you
 should try electricians! Everything inside them is color
coded.”

The third surgeon says, “No, I really
 think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”

The fourth surgeon chimes in: “You 
know, I like construction workers…those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over.”

Then the fifth surgeon shut
 them all up when he observed: “You’re all wrong. Politicians are by far the easiest to operate on.
 They have no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and 
no spine, and the head and the ass are interchangeable.

Chicken Curry

This recipe was given to me by a very close friend, Yussuff. If you get this right, you will be cooking one mean curry…..

INGREDIENTS:

1 Whole onion chopped into small pieces i.e. not too small.

3 Cloves of Garlic chopped into small pieces

10 kg Chicken: This should be free range chicken chopped into KFC size pieces. We always take the skin off the chicken as this is the part with most fat.

4 Heaped spoons of Curry powder: This is a bit intuitive and you need to be careful with this. The curry powder is what will give the curry the taste.

Yussuff used 4 very heaped soupspoons of Lalah’s curry powder. You may not get this brand of curry powder where you are or you may prefer to mix your own spices. Just make sure that you have sufficient powder.

Vegetable oil. I use olive oil, so I guess you can use the oil you would generally use.

2 kg Potatoes

Small tin of peeled tomatoes

IMPORTANT: I should also add that prepared Curry Powder contains salt. And this percentage could be between 5% and up to 20% of the powder. So if you or a member of your family have problems with high blood pressure, it may be best to buy the individual spices and mix yourself. This could be fun as you can choose the ones you like and the ones that is best for your blood type.

COOKING INSTRUCTIONS:

EVERYTHING IS DONE ON A SLOW FIRE:

PREAMBLE……

This is NOT a fast food meal. Although it does not take a long time to cook you will need to have time to get all the preparations right. It’s nice to cook this in a kitchen with some family and friends, although only two people will actually be working.

You have to make sure that you have a big enough pot. West Indians have what is called a CARAHEE, which is a cast iron pot that has a rounded bottom. If you don’t have one of these, just a large normal pot will be fine. (Imagine: The size of the carahee that we used was too big for a single burner of the cooker, so it was necessary to use two of the burners).

We were cooking 10kg (20lbs) of chicken, so the quantities detailed will need to be adjusted for smaller weights. Just be careful on the curry powder quantities.

Yussuff seasoned the chicken overnight in garlic and mixed spiced. You could chose not to but this does make a difference.

The mixed spices that he used was from the brand RAJAH, whose ingredients were: salt, paprika, sugar, mustard flower, flavour enhancer-monosodium glutamate, black pepper, onion, garlic, celery, herbs, spice extracts…..you can choose to season with a selection of spices…..always worries me these monosodium glutamates…..

This is IMPORTANT. HE DID NOT ADD ANY WATER during the cooking process as he always cooked with the lid to the pot. This makes the curry drier and much tastier. Don’t, however, be afraid to add water if the curry is sticking to the pot. If you do add water make it hot water (if cold water is added it will have an effect to what’s in the pot, as we are cooking on a low burner) and add soup spoon quantities at a time. By cooking on a slow fire, the water created by cooking with the lid closed and naturally from the ingredients will be sufficient.

2. STEP BY STEP DETAILS:

· Slowly heat the oil.

· When the oil is hot, fry the onions until they slightly golden.

· Add garlic at this later stage. Onions obviously take longer to cook, so adding the garlic later will avoid burning.

· When the onions and garlic have cooked (and this means slightly brown) add curry powder.

Slowly mix the curry powder into the natural juices created from the cooking process. Let this cook slowly for about 20 minutes. You can add a slight drop of hot water if necessary, but don’t over do it, as this will weaken the taste of the curry. The curry should cook in the oil and the onion/garlic and the steam created from cooking with a closed lid. Occasionally stir this mixture as to ensure that it does not stick to the pot.

· After the curry powder has cooked (and you have to remember that these are spices that need time to cook) add the chicken pieces. You will need to stir the curry paste into the chicken as much as is necessary to ensure that all the pieces are well covered. Depending on the quantities you may want to do this in stages.

· Potatoes will take approximately 20 minutes to cook although the longer cooked the more they will absorb the curry flavour.

· Add the small tin of peeled tomatoes finely chopped.

IMPORTANT: Keep the lid of the pot at all times when not stirring. The natural liquid of the chicken will create the liquid that will make the sauce that you need.

Chicken will take no more than 1 hour to cook. But don’t rush this. The longer and more patient you are, the better the curry will taste.

4. SERVE WITH BASMATI RICE:

I say Basmati as that is my preference. See separate cooking instruction.

5. PREPARE CHICKEN:

Use fresh chicken, preferably farm fresh. The more you know about where your food comes from, the healthier you will be. Remove skin (this is a preference of Yussuff). He generally uses just the thigh and leg of the chicken, although I quite like the wing and breast of the chicken. The breast, if pieces are too big, will be very dry, so use small pieces for best results.

Difficulties when Drunk…..

Things that are difficult to say when you’re drunk…
a) Innovative
b) Preliminary
c) Proliferation
d) Cinnamon

Things that are VERY difficult to say when you’re drunk…
a) Specificity
b) British Constitution
c) Passive-aggressive disorder
d) Transubstantiate

Things that are ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to say when you’re drunk…..
a) Thanks, but I don’t want to sleep with you…..
b) Nope, no more booze for me…..
c) Sorry, but you’re not really my type…..
d) No kebab for me, thank you…..
e) Good evening officer, isn’t it lovely out tonight?
f) I’m not interested in fighting you…..
g) Oh, I just couldn’t - no one wants to hear me sing…..
h) Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance, I have no co-ordination. I’d hate to look like a fool…..
i) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street…..
j) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning…..

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