Five surgeons in a conference bar are discussing who
 makes the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon says, “I like to
 see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”

The second responds, “Yeah, but you
 should try electricians! Everything inside them is color
 coded.”

The third surgeon says, “No, I really
 think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”

The fourth surgeon chimes in: “You
 know, I like construction workers…those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over.”

Then the fifth surgeon shut 
them all up when he observed: “You’re all wrong. Politicians are by far the easiest to operate on.
 They have no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and
 no spine, and the head and the ass are interchangeable.

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I like this…. www.lifeaftercoffee.com

The link leads to an article about a newspaper contest, which taking an existing (English) word and adding, removing or just changing one letter, will make a new word….

There are some clever people out there…

I particularly like: Foreploy, Sarchasm, Impotience, Hipatitis, Adulatery….

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((RING)))   ((RING)))   **Pick Up**”Hello?”

“Hi honey, this is Daddy, Is Mommy near the phone?”

“No Daddy, She’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul”

After a brief pause, Daddy says, “But honey, you haven’t got an Uncle Paul”

“Oh yes I do and he’s upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now”

** Brief Pause**

“Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout

to Mommy that Daddy’s car just pulled into the driveway”

“Okay Daddy, just a minute”

A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone. “I did it Daddy”

“And what happened honey?” he asked

“Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming.

Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn’t moving at all!”

“Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?”

“He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool.

But I guess he didn’t know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he’s dead”

**Long Pause***

***Longer Pause**

Then Daddy says, “Swimming pool??”… Is this 486-5731??

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A man enters a confessional and says to the Irish Priest: “Father,

it has been one month since my last confession. I’ve had s* x with Fannie Green every week for the last month.”

The priest tells the sinner: “You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary’s’.”

Soon, another man enters the confessional. “Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had s*x with Fannie Green twice a week for the last two months.”

This time the priest asks: “Who is this Fannie Green?”

“A new woman in the neighbourhood,” the sinner replies.

Very well,” says the priest. “Go and say ten ‘Hail Mary’s’.”

The next morning in church, the priest is preparing to deliver his sermon when a gorgeous, tall woman enters the church.

All the men’s eyes fall upon her as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down in front of the Altar.

Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald green shoes.

The priest and altar boy gasp as the woman sits down with her legs slightly spread apart, Sharon Stone-style.

The priest turns to the altar boy and whisperingly asks: “Is that Fannie Green?”

The altar boy replies: “No Father, I think its just the reflection of her shoes”.

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A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it’s her turn, she climbs up on Santa’s lap. Santa asks: “What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?”

The little girl replies: “I want a Barbie and Action Man. ” Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says: “I thought Barbie comes with Ken.”

“No,” said the little girl “She comes with Action Man, she fakes it with Ken.”

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