A man boarded an aircraft at London’s Heathrow Airport for New York, and as he settled in to his seat, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane.
He realised she was heading straight toward his seat and bingo - she took the seat right beside him!!
“Hello”, he blurted out, “Business trip or vacation?”
She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, “Business, I’m going to the annual nymphomaniac convention in the States.” (more…)
Five surgeons in a conference bar are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.
The first surgeon says, “I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”
The second responds, “Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.”
The third surgeon says, “No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”
The fourth surgeon chimes in: “You know, I like construction workers…those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over.”
Then the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: “You’re all wrong. Politicians are by far the easiest to operate on. They have no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and the ass are interchangeable.
I like this…. www.lifeaftercoffee.com
The link leads to an article about a newspaper contest, which taking an existing (English) word and adding, removing or just changing one letter, will make a new word….
There are some clever people out there…
I particularly like: Foreploy, Sarchasm, Impotience, Hipatitis, Adulatery….
((RING))) ((RING))) **Pick Up**”Hello?”
“Hi honey, this is Daddy, Is Mommy near the phone?”
“No Daddy, She’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul”
After a brief pause, Daddy says, “But honey, you haven’t got an Uncle Paul”
“Oh yes I do and he’s upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now”
** Brief Pause**
“Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout
to Mommy that Daddy’s car just pulled into the driveway”
“Okay Daddy, just a minute”
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone. “I did it Daddy”
“And what happened honey?” he asked
“Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming.
Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn’t moving at all!”
“Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?”
“He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool.
But I guess he didn’t know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he’s dead”
**Long Pause***
***Longer Pause**
Then Daddy says, “Swimming pool??”… Is this 486-5731??
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