A man enters a confessional and says to the Irish Priest: “Father,

it has been one month since my last confession. I’ve had s* x with Fannie Green every week for the last month.”

The priest tells the sinner: “You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary’s’.”

Soon, another man enters the confessional. “Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had s*x with Fannie Green twice a week for the last two months.”

This time the priest asks: “Who is this Fannie Green?”

“A new woman in the neighbourhood,” the sinner replies.

Very well,” says the priest. “Go and say ten ‘Hail Mary’s’.”

The next morning in church, the priest is preparing to deliver his sermon when a gorgeous, tall woman enters the church.

All the men’s eyes fall upon her as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down in front of the Altar.

Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald green shoes.

The priest and altar boy gasp as the woman sits down with her legs slightly spread apart, Sharon Stone-style.

The priest turns to the altar boy and whisperingly asks: “Is that Fannie Green?”

The altar boy replies: “No Father, I think its just the reflection of her shoes”.

Share This

Comments(0)

A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it’s her turn, she climbs up on Santa’s lap. Santa asks: “What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?”

The little girl replies: “I want a Barbie and Action Man. ” Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says: “I thought Barbie comes with Ken.”

“No,” said the little girl “She comes with Action Man, she fakes it with Ken.”

Share This

Comments(0)

I PICKED THIS UP HERE….I ACTUALLY GOOGLE SEARCHED CARAHEE (WHICH I WAS TRYING TO GIVE NON WEST INDIANS SOME IDEA ABOUT FOR MEH CURRY RECIPE) IT DOES HELP IF YOU UNDERSTAND SOMETHING ABOUT GUYANESE….:

On da first day of Christmas, meh true love gave to me Chicken curry
in a Carahee

On da second day of Christmas meh true love gave to me 2 green mango
and Chicken curry in a Carahee

On da third day of Christmas meh true love gave to me 3 cream sodas,
2 green mango and Chicken curry in a Carahee

On da fourth day of Christmas meh true love gave to me 4 paira, 3
cream sodas, 2 green mango and Chicken curry in a Carahee

On da fifth day of Christmas meh true love gave to me 5
ssshhoootttttt oooffff bbbaaacccaaarrrrddddiiii, 4 paira, 3 cream sodas, 2 green mango and Chicken curry in a Carahee

On da sixth day of Christmas meh true love gave to me 6 crappo
jumping, 5 ssshhoootttttt oooffff bbbaaacccaaarrrrddddiiii, 4 paira, 3 cream sodas, 2 green mango and Chicken curry in a Carahee

On da seventh day of Christmas meh true love gave to me 7 hassa
swimming, 6 crappo jumping, 5 ssshhoootttttt oooffff bbbaaacccaaarrrrddddiiii, 4 paira, 3 cream sodas, 2 green mango and Chicken curry in a Carahee

On da eighth day of Christmas meh true love gave to me 8 pandit
prayin, 7 hassa swimming, 6 crappo jumping, 5 ssshhoootttttt oooffff bbbaaacccaaarrrrddddiiii, 4 paira, 3 cream sodas, 2 green mango and Chicken curry in a Carahee

On da ninth day of Christmas meh true love gave to me 9 nani wining,
8 pandit prayin, 7 hassa swimming, 6 crappo jumping, 5 >>ssshhoootttttt oooffff bbbaaacccaaarrrrddddiiii, 4 paira, 3 cream sodas, 2 green mango and Chicken curry in a Carahee

On da tenth day of Christmas meh true love gave to me 10 bara with
chutney, 9 nani wining, 8 pandit prayin, 7 hassa swimming, 6 crappo jumping, 5 ssshhoootttttt oooffff bbbaaacccaaarrrrddddiiii, 4 paira, 3 cream sodas, 2 green mango and Chicken curry in a Carahee

On da eleventh day of Christmas meh true love gave to me 11 burn
cds, 10 bara with chutney, 9 nani wining, 8 pandit prayin, 7 hassa swimming, 6 crappo jumping, 5 ssshhoootttttt oooffff bbbaaacccaaarrrrddddiiii, 4 paira, 3 cream sodas, 2 green mango and Chicken curry in a Carahee

On da twelfth day of Christmas meh true love gave to me 12 tassa
drummin, 11 burn cds, 10 bara with chutney, 9 nani wining, 8 pandit prayin, 7 hassa swimming, 6 crappo jumping, 5 ssshhoootttttt oooffff bbbaaacccaaarrrrddddiiii, 4 paira, 3 cream sodas, 2 green mango and Chicken curry in a Carahee

Share This

Comments(0)

Five surgeons in a conference bar are discussing who
 makes the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon says, “I like to 
see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”
The second responds, “Yeah, but you
 should try electricians! Everything inside them is color
coded.”

The third surgeon says, “No, I really
 think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”

The fourth surgeon chimes in: “You 
know, I like construction workers…those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over.”

Then the fifth surgeon shut
 them all up when he observed: “You’re all wrong. Politicians are by far the easiest to operate on.
 They have no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and 
no spine, and the head and the ass are interchangeable.

Share This

Comments(0)

Things that are difficult to say when you’re drunk…
a) Innovative
b) Preliminary
c) Proliferation
d) Cinnamon

Things that are VERY difficult to say when you’re drunk…
a) Specificity
b) British Constitution
c) Passive-aggressive disorder
d) Transubstantiate

Things that are ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to say when you’re drunk…..
a) Thanks, but I don’t want to sleep with you…..
b) Nope, no more booze for me…..
c) Sorry, but you’re not really my type…..
d) No kebab for me, thank you…..
e) Good evening officer, isn’t it lovely out tonight?
f) I’m not interested in fighting you…..
g) Oh, I just couldn’t - no one wants to hear me sing…..
h) Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance, I have no co-ordination. I’d hate to look like a fool…..
i) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street…..
j) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning…..

Share This

Comments(0)