Priceless Wedding
THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A TRUE STORY…..
It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.
After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride’s and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception. As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone’s chair, including the wedding party was an envelope. He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope.
Inside each manila envelope was an 8×10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man. The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them. After just standing there, just watching the guests’ reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, “F— you!” Then he turned to his bride and said, “F— you!” Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, “I’m outta here.”
While most people would have cancelled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong. He obviously liked the fact that the bride’s parents pay over $32,000 for a 300 guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride’s and best man’s reputations in front of 300 friends and family members. Priceless…..
Big Brother Gone Mad…
Just when you thought it was safe to swim with the fishes…..
If you ever have a doubt that you are alone on this world, then beware…..you are not…..you are a touch away from being found and it is absolutely frightening how easy it is for someone…..ANYONE…..to find out where you are and what you are doing.
It scary stuff and you should seriously think about who you give your mobile number to…..you don’t believe…..give it a try….. www.sat-gps-locate.com
The Effects of the Smoking Ban…..
I heard the following recently…..which I thought was interesting:
1. As a result of the smoking ban in pubs and clubs a strange phenomenon is occurring….. it appears that we can now smell the urinals…..how we missed that odor…..new business opportunity I hear you say…..
2. And it seems we also forgot to notice that we ourselves actually smell when we perspire (in the case of men sweat) (I was told a long time ago that Ladies perspire…..horses sweat…..) and so, as we merrily dance the night away, our carnal odors become more prevalent.
3. And the smoking ban has created a massive industry for those palm tree type external heaters…..there are those who are preoccupied with the energy being consumed…..
4. And the fact that we don’t smoke on airplanes anymore seems to be positive…..planes actually consume something like 30% less fuel as a result, which is logical when we consider that we were transforming the external air at 11.000 feet up (temperatures way beyond Siberia…..) and this cooling process was a very high energy consumer…..
Joining The Ranks
This is good….very good….
You may have read my comments on The Portuguese Terrorists….. well it seems as though I have entered into the ranks of this rear breed.
There I was, taking a quiet stroll down to the Algarve on a very rain Monday morning, taking more than my usual care as a result of the climatic conditions. Having negotiated 205km of the 250km journey, I saw a police car on the inside lane, traveling no more than 90km per hour.
I continued doing my 120ish…..with others both to the inside and other calmly passing me on the outside. Passing some roadwork’s on the inside lane and soon after, I was pulled over by the police.
What on earth could I possibly have done wrong…..there was hardly anyone on the road so I guess it was serious…..drug smugglers no less…..anyway, you guessed it…..I travelled for 5km in the middle lane of a 3 land motorway…..and this deserves a 60 Euros fine.
When I asked the police about the people that were over speeding to my right, he said that as he was not fitted with the necessary speed equipment, it was not possible for them to do anything about it…..
This is what they call in Portugal…..“A Logica da Batata”…..The Logic of the Potato……
